But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize