She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
