Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
