I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
