apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
