I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
