ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
