laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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