He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
