I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize