I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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