North Korea, Best Korea!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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