why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
