I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
