I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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