Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
