i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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