You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize