so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
