you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They took my balls.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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