For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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