Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
