I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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