Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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