I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
