I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
