Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
