You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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