at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
