Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
