so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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