No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
