You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize