Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
