i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
