im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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