my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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