my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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