So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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