were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
