it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
