Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
