Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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