It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
