I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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