Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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