i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
