Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
