Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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