A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
