You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
