i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
