"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
