i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can I color on your dick again?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
