Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
