Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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