I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize