D3 body, D1 cock
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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