I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
