physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
