We're like a lot better than the average bears
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
