found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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