I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
