maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
