I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
