i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
