He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
