And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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