Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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