Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
