I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
