there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
