They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
