we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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