Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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