you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
