I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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