super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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