it hurts more in the daytime
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
