I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
