remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
