is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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