I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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